January 23, 2008 Screencaps

Emily: I don't think you've thought this through.

Nikolas: Yes -- yes, I have. I know what's important, I -- I know I can't lose you. But if I have this operation, I'll never see you again.

Emily: You don't know that.

Nikolas: I can't risk it, I've made up my mind. I'm not having this operation. I'm not having this operation.

Emily: You're doing this to punish yourself because you still think that you're the one that strangled me at Wyndemere.

Nikolas: Well, Emily, I wish -- I wish that I could say I know I didn't, but I -- but I can't. I wish I could say that I remember something else from that night -- anything -- but I can't.

Emily: Well, you still could if you could just stay alive!

Nikolas: What -- what good is it remembering who took you from me if I end up losing you all over again? I -- I have a tumor that is growing. If -- if I have it removed I lose you again, and I don't think that I can handle that -- I know that I couldn't.

Emily: Nikolas, if you don't have this operation, you're going to die. Okay? You need to accept that -- we both do. There is more in this world for you to live for than me.

Nikolas: I -- I don't believe that. And I don't know what I believe anymore.

Nadine: There's more to believe about this world than people think. We just have to keep ourselves open to the unexpected, don't we?

Patrick: Why didn't you tell me Nikolas was refusing to have the operation?

Robin: Well, because I don't know that yet -- I haven't talked to him. He just left me a message about alternative treatment, that's all.

Patrick: There is no alternative treatment.

Robin: Well, we don't know that. We have just started to monitor how the tumor is growing and what hormones are being released into his blood during his rage episodes.

Patrick: Robin, the important part about that is the tumor is growing, and it's going to kill him -- it is killing him.

Robin: The least I could do is talk to him like he asked.

Patrick: Robin, I can save his life.

Robin: That's not the point. You can't chase the guy down and tie him to a gurney and split his head open just because you want to put another notch on the O.R. table just like you keep putting on your belt.

Patrick: Why do you care?

Robin: You know what? I don't -- I mean, I shouldn't. But just so you know, I think that there is a supply closet on five that's not being used.

Patrick: You know, it's a good thing we broke up. We would've deteriorated to this level about something at some point. It's a good thing I didn't let you talk me into having kids together.

Nadine: I brought you some forms to sign so you could be released tomorrow. I was surprised to hear you were going. I thought you were going to stay and have the surgery.

Nikolas: It's my mind, my body, I can do what I want with it. Look, I'm not having another episode here, I'm just tired of people --

Nadine: I chased her away, didn't I?

Nikolas: Who?

Nadine: Emily.

Nikolas: Okay, what -- what if I said yes?

Nadine: Then I'd say I'm sorry, and I'd hurry up and get out of here as soon as I could so you could try and talk to her again. It happens to me, too.

Nikolas: Huh -- yeah? What does?

Nadine: Someone, um -- someone I once knew -- I can still feel them with me -- someone who's gone but not not really, someone I want to hold on to.

Nikolas: Someone -someone that you loved or --

Nadine: Someone I love. But -- uh -- we just can't be together. But it doesn't give me an excuse to ignore the rest of my life. I mean, I have a job and family and good friends and a hockey team. The world goes on, like it or not, and the people that we choose to occupy space with come and go -- and if 're lucky, they come back again. But in the meantime, they wouldn't want us to just sit around and waste our life, you know? So we can keep the best parts of them with us and -- oh, gosh, I'm sorry. As my aunt would say, "Nadine, you can talk the ear off a stalk of corn." Uh -- good luck out there.

Nikolas: Ahem.

Nadine: And don't let go unless there's no other choice.

Nikolas: Well, how do you know when that is?

Nadine: I don't know. I'm not there yet myself. But I can say that only you will know for sure -- in here. Night.

Leyla: Are you okay?

Scene continues.

Robin: Hey. I got your message. So, I have a list here of alternative treatments, but I have to be honest. At this point, I don't have any real solutions, so your best option is still surgery.

Nikolas: Well, right now, I'll just settle for an answer something.

Robin: Sure. What is it?

Nikolas: How do you let go of someone when you know you should, but something inside you makes that impossible?