Nikolas: I told the guard you'd want to see me.
Emily: Yeah. Always.
Nikolas: See, I knew you'd say that. Emily, I love you, but you need to stop telling me what you think I want to hear.
Emily: You're still mad at me, aren't you?
Nikolas: What am I supposed to feel, Emily? You let Sonny kick me out of here. When I asked you to come with me, you refused to go. What --
Emily: Sonny misinterpreted the argument that we were having, Nikolas, and I needed to make it clear to him that I'm not in an abusive relationship.
Nikolas: Oh, is that what he thinks? Huh? Yeah, of course it is. Violence is always the answer for Sonny, isn't it?
Emily: I told him that you were frustrated, okay? Justifiably so. And as I heard myself saying the words, Nikolas, I realized that you were right. I have been using Michael, at least in part as a reason to hide, not from you, but from myself.
Nikolas: But I don't know. What does that mean? I don't know what that means.
Emily: I want to put the rape in the past and get on with the wonderful life that we planned together, but it's not that easy, Nikolas. And when it doesn't happen in a timely manner, I get frustrated, okay? I feel helpless and weak and I want to do something where I can feel effective, that you feel some sort of forward motion, and Michael gives me that right now. I'm better at being his godmother than I am your wife, and I know it's not fair, and I'm working really hard to try to turn that around.
Nikolas: "Working"? If you have to work at it, Emily, then what is the point?
Nikolas: Being together used to be so easy, you know. And now, yeah, it does feel like work. I second-guess everything that comes out of my mouth. I'm constantly watching for your reaction every time I try and get close to you. It's no good, Emily, not for either one of us.
Emily: Okay, so what are you saying?
Nikolas: I'm saying that I love you, but my love is hurting you more than it's helping you. So I'm just going to keep my distance.
Emily: Nikolas, no.
Nikolas: Listen, listen, listen. It's not to punish you. It's just the opposite. I'm going to give you the space you need to heal.
Emily: Nikolas, wait. I love you.
Nikolas: And I love you, too.
Sam: For the record, anything you say to me, nothing at all leaves this room. Promise.
Emily: Okay. Thanks.
Sam: You're welcome.
Emily: I needed to hear that. Um -- I'm afraid that I'm going to lose Nikolas because I can't be close to him, you know, physically.
Sam: Come here. Well, do you think that it's because of the rape or because he looks almost exactly like your attacker?
Emily: Well, I'm in therapy and I'm definitely making progress. I'm able to separate Nikolas from Connor, you know, for the most part.
Sam: Well, that definitely sounds like progress.
Emily: Yeah, but that's where I'm stuck. You know, the memories don't come, but I'm always on alert, waiting for them to sneak up and ambush me when I least expect it. So it keeps me outside myself, outside the moment, and Nikolas knows me so well. He can sense it, you know, that I can't let go enough to really be with him. So he tenses up expecting rejection, which is what it is, you know, no matter how lovingly I try to do it, and --
Sam: I think you do, okay? I think that the elephant in the room is called sex. Let's face it. Nikolas has been in prison for, what, at least six months now. He'd be frustrated even if you hadn't been raped, but you were. And you have kind of shut that part of yourself down --
Emily: Yeah.
Sam: So Nikolas is shutting that part of himself down so he doesn't hurt any of your recovery. It's a stalemate, Emily, and you are the only one who can break it.
Emily: So you think I should make love to Nikolas?
Sam: Well, I think that's your call, but if you want my advice, I think you should try. Trust the love between the two of you, that bond, Emily, that bond that goes deeper than any other. If Nikolas can give you back your body, your sensuality, well, you couldn't give you -- or him -- a more precious gift.
Nikolas: You shouldn't have come here.
Emily: Nikolas, I realized something -- I don't want space, I want you.
Nikolas: All right. All right, this isn't fair, okay? I'm trying to do the right thing; I'm trying to respect your need for distance. You can't come in here and say --
Emily: Nikolas, you want to make love to me, don't you? It's okay. I will. I want to make love with you.
Nikolas: Well, I'm not sure who you're trying to convince, me or you. Regardless, it's too soon. That's obvious.
Emily: No, it isn’t. Look, Connor didn't leave me physically damaged, and therapy's helped me to make the separation between you and Connor. It's exactly the right time.
Nikolas: And what if it isn't?
Emily: Well, then I'll need your love and your understanding and your patience. Nikolas, I don't know how I'm going to react to lovemaking, but we can't keep going on like this. Putting it off is going to tear us apart and I don't want that to happen.
Nikolas: I just -- I don't want to hurt you.
Emily: Then help me heal. Nikolas, I trust you with my heart and with my body. Make love to me.
Nikolas: Are you okay?
Emily: I'm a little nervous, but I love you and I want this.
Nikolas: Okay, just -- you have to promise me that if you start feeling scared or panicked or anything, just -- just tell me, okay? I won't get angry.
Emily: Okay.
Nikolas: Okay.