Courtney: You know, Jax has the biggest heart in the world. He does. I mean, he has gone out of his way to make me feel like I'm a part of this pregnancy. It's just the harder he tries --
Nikolas: The more left out you feel?
Courtney: I mean, come on. It's not Jax’s fault that I can't carry a child of my own.
Nikolas: No? Well, that's the hardest part, isn't it? When you're right in the middle of a crisis, and you realize there's no one to blame? Then what in the hell do we do?
Courtney: Well, me -- I just go straight to denial. Yeah. Pretty much bought myself a year of not having to deal.
Nikolas: Hmm.
Courtney: Yeah. Yeah, I just -- I found out I couldn't have children, so I threw myself into my foundation. You know, the kids that needed me. Then out of nowhere comes this gorgeous, generous man who begins wooing me, and so I threw myself into that. And then there was the trial and my family and --
Nikolas: Right.
Courtney: The wedding and --
Nikolas: And you woke up one day and realized your real life's staring you right in the face.
Courtney: Yeah. Can't run and I can't hide.
Nikolas: Nope.
Courtney: God. Elizabeth Webber is having my husband's baby, and I don't know where I fit. So I walk on eggshells, and I try and be understanding, you know? I --
Nikolas: Yeah, no, no, I understand. And you try to be sensitive for the other person, have some compassion. I mean, I understand how Emily feels, why it's so difficult for her to be in the same room with me after what Connor did to her.
Courtney: Yeah, but she loves you.
Nikolas: She wants to. But every time she shuts down or jumps out of her seat when I walk into a room, it's just another reminder that I couldn't be there for her, and it hurts.
Courtney: It hurts like crazy.
Nikolas: Yeah.
Courtney: So how do we even begin to fight?
Nikolas: We don’t. We can’t.
Sonny: All this means is they don't have enough evidence to arrest Emily.
Reese: She can't leave town.
Emily: I hadn't planned to.
Reese: Well, then there's nothing to worry about. This is typical of Durant. If he can't come up with anything concrete, he resorts to intimidation.
Sonny: Durant probably thinks that he's going to put the screws to you. That way, Jason comes out of hiding. That leaves Michael -- do not -- do not let him do this to you.
Reese: He knows the game, Emily.
Emily: Well, that's great, but I really don't want to keep you if you have to go.
Sonny: Were we finished?
Emily: Yeah. I've already taken advantage of you.
Sonny: No, you're not taking advantage. You're Jason’s sister. That makes us family.
Emily: Listen, Durant must be out of his mind to charge Michael with murder. He's going to have a fight from half this town.
Reese: Oh, he already does. All right, are you ready to go? Because we could share a launch.
Sonny: Okay. I'm going to catch up with you later because I got some things I got to take care of. You let me know as soon as -- if anything else comes up, will you?
Reese: Right. Okay.
Sonny: Thank you. All right. I tell you what. Go upstairs, pack your stuff. I'll take you home.
Emily: I am home. What --
Sonny: No, no, no, no, no, the Quartermaines'. That's -- that's where you're going to be safe.
Courtney: You know, this isn't the first time I've felt like an outsider in my own marriage. Jason's life was as much about Sonny as it was me.
Nikolas: I know how you feel there. Now Emily’s suddenly up in Sonny's business, keeping secrets for him and -- and keeping them for Jason, too. On top of that, Sonny has now made himself Emily’s protector.
Courtney: Which would be your job, right?
Nikolas: Yeah, you would think. I'm her husband. But it seems that all the rules have changed now.
Courtney: Yeah.
Nikolas: Yeah.
Courtney: I'm sorry, Nikolas.
Nikolas: Yeah. It's all right. Anyway, you need to remind yourself what it was about Jax that made you fall in love with him.
Courtney: Well, aside from the embarrassingly shallow physical attraction, his -- his openness.
Nikolas: Okay.
Courtney: No, really. I mean, he -- Jax has the ability to be completely honest about what he feels and what he wants. Well, that is, until what he wants is something you can't give him.
Nikolas: My God. He does not blame you for not being able to have a child, Courtney.
Courtney: No, I know! No, no, I know. It's just -- I mean, he's just so blatantly ecstatic about this baby. It's just tearing me up, you know? I mean, every day it feels like this baby is less mine and his and more his and Elizabeth’s.
Nikolas: Well, when you talk to him about it, what does he say? Oh, really? So -- so you expect your husband to be open and honest but -- but you won't give that back to him, is that it, huh? Huh? Is that it?
Courtney: Yeah. How screwed up is that?
Nikolas: Well, it's pretty screwed up, if you ask me.
Courtney: Okay, well, look, every time I get ready to tell him how I feel, I just -- I replay it over and over in my head, and I just realize how incredibly selfish and petty and jealous it sounds. Trust me, it's not attractive, Nikolas.
Nikolas: Courtney, you've told me all about how you feel, and I don't feel any less about you.
Courtney: Yeah, but I don't -- I don't have anything to lose by being honest with you, Nikolas, I don’t. The way that I'm feeling right now is not the way a loving wife is supposed to feel.
Nikolas: My God, you're not evil. A little insecure, maybe -- a lot.
Courtney: Hmm.
Nikolas: You are. I mean -- and Jax can't turn that around for you if you don't talk to him.
Courtney: How am I supposed to tell him that every time I'm around Elizabeth, I feel like --?
Nikolas: You just tell him.
Courtney: You know, the other morning, I had this image of us going to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time, and I was fighting to listen in, and nobody even noticed that I was there, you know? I mean, how am I going to feel when she starts showing and Jax wants to touch her belly or listen to the baby or -- or try and feel it kick? I mean, everybody's going to be bonding, and I'm going to be still stressing out about the nursery theme. You know what? My sum total contribution to this whole little miracle is going to be the color of the drapes.
Nikolas: Unbelievable.
Courtney: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, God -- okay, right, I'm -- I'm a complainer. I'm a typical woman, right? That's what you think?
Nikolas: Oh, no. I was actually thinking that you're a pretty terrific woman.
Nikolas: Do you mind if I give you a guy's perspective on this?
Courtney: Sure, go right ahead.
Nikolas: Okay, just -- you know, just lay it all out there. Tell Jax exactly how you feel.
Courtney: But how do I feel?
Nikolas: I don't --
Courtney: I mean -- threatened? Jealous? Incredibly sorry for myself? I mean, I have to say it in a way that doesn't undercut Jax’s joy, you know? He deserves to be happy.
Nikolas: So do you.
Courtney: Yeah -- but I kind of set this up, didn't I?
Nikolas: Mm-hmm.
Courtney: Yeah. Be careful what you ask for, right? Oh, God. Look at us, Nikolas. I mean, we're young, we're healthy. I have everything I -- I could have ever wanted, and -- I don't know -- when is it enough?
Nikolas: Well, when we stop thinking that there's a happy ending somewhere, I guess. It's just all a process, what we're doing here, this life. It's just a lot of pain and sadness and hard work, you know, and interrupted, if we play our cards right, by just a few moments of joy and love.
Courtney: You've really thought about this.
Nikolas: Solitary confinement -- I had a lot of time on my hands.
Courtney: You know what -- you're right, though. You're right -- I can't expect Jax to automatically know what's going on in my head. I have to tell him.
Nikolas: Well, you go, girl.
Courtney: What -- hey --
Nikolas: Sorry.
Courtney: You -- you know, you should probably take your own advice.
Nikolas: No, I -- I have told her a million times, Courtney.
Courtney: Well, tell her a million and one, then, because, you know, the energy she spends tangled up with Sonny and Jason is better spent on your marriage.
Emily: Listen, I'm perfectly safe here in my own home, Sonny. Listen, I know you think I'm making excuses, but I swear to you Nikolas isn't violent or abusive to me on any level.
Sonny: I saw him earlier tonight. He was like a time bomb ready to --
Emily: He was venting and it was never directed at me.
Sonny: Well, what if -- what happens one night when he comes here and there's nobody here and then it's just you and him?
Emily: Listen, no matter what I say, it's going to sound like I'm protecting him, but I'm not. Nikolas is very good to me. There aren't a lot of guys who would work so hard to try to understand what I've been through. I just wish that I could do the same for him. Listen, Nikolas wants his wife back -- the woman I was before I was raped -- and I'm not her anymore.
Sonny: Then he should accept who you are now.
Emily: He's trying.
Sonny: And you should, too, because the more you smile and act like nothing's happening, you're both going to go down in flames.
Sonny: I will never, ever tell you what to do.
Emily: No, you've been so generous since Jason’s been gone. Really, you've been a very broad shoulder for me.
Sonny: I know what you've been through, and I've lived with it for more years than you can imagine.
Emily: Are you living, walking proof that I can survive, too?
Sonny: The question is how. I know what happens when somebody smashes your body and cripples your soul. And you're too small -- ahem -- and too weak and helpless to stop them. And then when the physical scars heal, people always say to you, "Ah, come on, get over it now," you know? But you can’t.
Emily: You know, before Connor did what he did to me, the defining moment of my life was my mother's death from breast cancer. You know, she was all I had. And that loss colored everything that came after. You know, even my own cancer was easier than losing my mom so young.
Sonny: So if somebody told you "Ah, it's done now, get over it," what would you have done?
Emily: No, you can’t. I'll never forget her and I'll never be the same for having lost her.
Sonny: You know, Emily, what Connor did to you will always be with you and eventually, you'll get stronger. But you can't -- you can't forget.
Emily: Yeah. You change.
Sonny: How can you not?
Emily: You do know.
Sonny: Sometimes I wish I -- I'd know what kind of a man I'd be or what kind of life I would be living right now if I wasn't knocked around when I was a kid.
Emily: Maybe a little less angry, a little quicker to trust?
Sonny: Maybe.
Emily: Yeah, well, this is how our lives play out, you know? There's no going back to who we were before. I'm not who I was a year ago or even six months ago. You know, the woman Nikolas married is gone and I -- you know, whoever I am can't give him what he wants.
Sonny: Oh. I was just going.
Emily: Sonny, thank you so much.
Sonny: Hey. If you need anything --
Emily: Okay.
Sonny: Yeah.
Nikolas: So if you're not the woman I married, then who are you?
Nikolas: You know, instead of from each other, there was a time once in our lives when we kept secrets for each other. When you had cancer, I was the only one you told. And I -- I cherished that, that trust that you had in me that I would never violate that confidence. You -- I mean, it -- it brought us closer. You remember? You -- you and me against the world? I -- I just -- I don't understand what went wrong. I don't understand.
Emily: My world fell apart, Nikolas.
Nikolas: And you never told me.
Emily: You were in prison and I knew what that was going to do to you.
Nikolas: I know, I know, I know, so -- oh, tell me. In your mind, did you feel like you were protecting me? Is that --?
Emily: Yes.
Nikolas: It?
Emily: That's what I wanted. Nikolas, it's what I owed you.
Nikolas: Owed me -- what? Owed me for what?
Emily: Because you pushed Helena off a cliff to protect me and then you turned yourself --
Nikolas: Which caused me to not be able to be there for you, Emily, when that --
Emily: You were. Nik, I mean --
Nikolas: Emily --
Emily: I knew that when we got you out that --
Nikolas: I was absolutely useless to you while I was in prison.
Emily: Stop it, Nikolas. That's not what I'm saying.
Nikolas: What you're saying is that everything has changed now -- that's what you're saying.
Emily: But isn't it? Does any of this feel the same?
Nikolas: All I wanted is for us to move forward, Emily! I -- I think we're stronger together than we are apart, or --
Emily: I shouldn't have excluded you.
Nikolas: Oh, I really wish you believed that.
Emily: Okay, I'm trying, Nikolas, okay? Every day, all I do is try. I really don't know what else you want from me.
Nikolas: Well, I want you to be honest with me. Can you be honest with me?
Emily: All right, Nikolas, I'll be honest! I had to protect a little boy. I would've told you but Jason begged me not to say a word for Michael’s sake, okay? That's the honest truth. You want to make it about something else, fine, but I won’t.