Monica: Hi there. How was your trip to Pentonville?
Emily: I didn't see Nikolas.
Monica: What? I mean, you told the Warden about Lucky's condition, and he didn't let you see him?
Emily: No one stopped me. I got as far as the prison gates, but I couldn't go inside.
Monica: Why not?
Emily: I can't -- can't see him. Not now.
As Lucky is in v-fib and being worked on by the doctors, he dreams...
Emily: Where are you going?
Lucky: I have no reason to stay.
Emily: Don't leave us, Lucky. You saved my life. You took a bullet meant for me. I need you in my life. We all do.
Lucky: I'm glad you're alive, Emily. I'm going to miss you. But I have no reason to stay.
Elizabeth: Stay for me.
Monica: Emily, wait a minute. You didn't even ask the Warden if you could see Nikolas?
Emily: I just couldn't.
Monica: He has to know about Lucky.
Emily: Look, all Nikolas can do is worry, Mom. He's trapped in Pentonville. There's no way that they're going to let him out to visit Lucky.
Monica: Just think about this, please. What if Nikolas finds out that Lucky's in a coma and nobody -- not you -- told him about it?
Emily: Which is why I can't tell him.
Monica: What?
Emily: Okay, Nikolas was nearly killed as he was being transferred from the P.C.P.D., to Pentonville. The idea of spending the rest of his life in maximum security made him feel like he had nothing left to lose. I can't make things worse by telling him that Lucky's in a coma!
Monica: Just a minute. You said you couldn't even see Nikolas.
Emily: Look, one look at me, and he's going to know that something's wrong. I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him about Connor.
Monica: What about Connor?
Emily: See, Nikolas knew that Connor was unstable right from the beginning, and I'm the one who gave him chance after chance, Mom.
Monica: Well, you've always thought the best in people. That's nothing to be ashamed about.
Emily: I was just so, so naive. There were so many warning signs that Connor was dangerous, and I ignored them all. I mean, Connor had moved on to Canada, and I'm the one who went up there and I asked him to help. I'm the reason that he came back to Port Charles.
Monica: You were desperate to help Nikolas.
Emily: Nikolas hated the idea of Connor masquerading as him, but I asked Connor anyway. Nikolas asked me to stop, but I wouldn't listen.
Monica: Because you thought Connor could free Nikolas.
Emily: I know, but I could have tried to find some other way to get Nikolas out of prison. But instead I forged ahead, teaching Connor how to act and think and look exactly like Nikolas.
Monica: Emily, Emily, don't take all of this on yourself. Luke was the one who got Connor to disguise himself as Nikolas so he could get Helena out of hiding, and Skye went along with it. So did Elizabeth.
Emily: I'm the one who made this happen, Mom.
Monica: No, Emily, you're not. Connor was the one that brought all these terrible things on, not you. You're not to blame for any of this. You're not, sweetheart. Please know that. Please.
More of Lucky's dream while the doctor's work on him...
Elizabeth: Don't leave me, Lucky. I need you.
Lucky: I have to go.
Elizabeth: No, please. I love you. I've never stopped. You can't just die when we're finally finding our way back to each other. We're not finished, not yet. And you know that in your heart, Lucky. Stay with me.
Monitor beeps.
Tony: We've got a rhythm. I -- I thought we'd lost him. It's a miracle.
Emily: I didn't want to make Nikolas feel even worse than he already does, so I left Pentonville and I came home.
Elizabeth: You couldn't bear to look him in the eye?
Emily: Because he would know something was wrong, Elizabeth, and I'd have to tell him that Lucky is in a coma.
Elizabeth: Because he would know there was more.
Emily: No.
Elizabeth: Em, listen, you don't have to admit it to me, okay? Not even to your husband, who loves you more than life itself.
Emily: Look, I know you mean well, Elizabeth, but I'm asking you to stop.
Elizabeth: Okay, listen, I've been where you are. I know how you feel. You just want to hide. You want to just put up that mask of everything being normal so no one can see the pain underneath. But, honey, it's not going to erase it. Refusing to say the word "rape" is not going to make the hurt or the guilt go away, or keep those terrible moments from just coming out of nowhere.
Emily: All right, how many times do I have to tell you, Elizabeth? It didn't happen!
Elizabeth: Okay.
Emily: All right, yes, I'm upset about a lot of things, but not that.
Elizabeth: Okay, you just -- please, go to a woman's center and talk --
Emily: I don't need to go!
Elizabeth: You don't even have to talk to a counselor. Just go have a blood test. You need to be tested for S.T.D.S and H.I.V., okay? I promise -- I promise I'll never mention this again after you get yourself checked out.
Emily: You're right, Elizabeth. Rape survivors should go to a woman's center for an exam and for counseling. But fortunately for me, I wasn't raped.
Elizabeth: Oh, Em, you don't have to discuss this with me. Just go --
Emily: I have nothing to hide, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: You have been so shaken up lately --
Emily: Of course I have, Elizabeth. I killed a man! Lucky got shot because of me. He's in a coma. We have no idea if he's going to recover.
Elizabeth: I know you're not okay.
Emily: Look, when Lucky's well again, I'll look into Nikolas' eyes and I will tell him what happened. Until then, I think it's better if he doesn't know, and that's all. You need to take my word for it, Elizabeth, and just let this drop.